Enjoy your husband, he is a blessing….seriously God?
If you can’t tell, D and I were not a happy couple in that image above. Our squinty eyes had much less to do with the sun in our faces, and a whole lot more to do with the fact that our daughter had asked us to take a picture together.
D and I were on the verge of divorce. We could not go more than a few days without fighting, we were barely speaking to one another and the children didn’t even want to sit with us for dinner; as a matter of fact, the older children were encouraging us to divorce. So when the Lord brought 1 Peter 3:1-2 to my attention, I totally balked at the suggestion.
“In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands [subordinate, not as inferior, but out of respect for the responsibilities entrusted to husbands and their accountability to God] so that even if some do not obey the word [of God], they may be won over [to Christ] without discussion by the godly lives of their wives, when they see your modest and respectful behavior [together with your devotion and appreciation – love your husband, encourage him, and enjoy him as a blessing from God].” 1 Peter 3:1-2 AMP
Surely, God could not be serious.
I wish I could tell you that I obeyed the Lord right away, but enjoying D and considering him a blessing was not the way I thought fixing our marriage should go. I wanted to do things my way. I didn’t want to be the one to make the changes, to be the grace giver, and shower D with encouragement and love was not what I felt he deserved.
Needless to say, due to my lack of obedience, things got much worse between D and I before they got better. Because Friends, that is what happens. When we disobey our Heavenly Father, who knows much better than we do and try to do things our way, instead of His way, everything will come tumbling down around us.
Confident faith is obeying God even when things don’t make sense to us and especially when we don’t want to.
Ladies, we can either humble ourselves and let God take His rightful place in our lives, or we can be humbled by God Himself. Trust me, the latter of the two is much more painful than the first. Our Heavenly Father will not put up with His daughters disobeying Him, He loves us way too much for that.
If we want God to restore our marriages, and have them thrive – being full of love, grace, compassion, and tenderness – then it starts with us. We have to be willing to fight the battle on our knees before God’s Throne of Grace. We have to be willing to do the hard things. The things we don’t want to do. The things that make us feel like we are doing all the hard work. The things that make us cry out to God for His strength, comfort, grace, and compassion.
For many months I cried out to God that it wasn’t fair that He was asking me to make the changes. It wasn’t fair that He was telling me to apologize, especially when I wasn’t wrong. It wasn’t fair that He was telling me to smother D with grace and forgiveness when D wouldn’t admit he was wrong. It wasn’t fair that I was taking the battle to God on my knees and nothing was changing in my marriage. It wasn’t fair that this was all so uncomfortable.
I learned something though:
God is much more concerned with our character than with our comfort.
The condition of our hearts mean so much to God and it is in the uncomfortable places of life that God does the most work in our hearts. It is here that the Holy Spirit is working to transform us more into being like Jesus. God uses the uncomfortable places of life to draw us closer to Him, to transform us, and to glorify Him.
By choosing to obey God in the difficult times of our marriages and doing what He is telling us to do, we will reap the abundant blessings God has for us. Our blessings will overflow into the lives of our husband’s, our children’s, and ultimately, into every area of our lives. The floodgates of God’s abundant blessings will not be held closed.
“Give, and it will be given to you. They will pour into your lap a good measure – pressed down, shaken together, and running over [with no space left for more]. For with the standard of measurement you use [when you do good to others], it will be measured to you in return.” Luke 6:38
Enjoy Your Husband He Is A Blessing
Simply put, this is not a suggestion. The Lord is commanding us to enjoy our husbands, even and especially when our marriages are under fire. And there is a good reason for it too.
The Enemy knows that if he can get in the middle of our marriages with his lies, deceit, temptations, and discouragement – if he can get us to not trust God’s ways and obey God – if he can get us to choose our way over God’s way – then he has done to us exactly what he was able to accomplish with Eve in the Garden. The Enemy knows he isn’t powerful enough to hurt God directly, so he hurts God by hurting God’s children.
The Enemy asked Eve, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?” (Genesis 3:1). That one little, crafty, rewording of God’s direction for Eve’s life is what sent Eve into a downward spiral of doubting what God had really said. She began doubting God’s intentions and ultimately she trusted the Enemy and relied on her own limited knowledge. Doubting God and choosing the Enemy’s way and her own way is what caused division between Eve and her Heavenly Father, between God and Adam and between her and Adam.
And he does the same thing to us. “Did God really say to enjoy my husband? No, certainly God didn’t mean for me to enjoy him when he has hurt me so deeply or when things are not good between us? No, God didn’t mean that. I’ll just do it this way, my way?”
So we, like Eve, end up feeling separated from God because we didn’t obey Him and now our world is tumbling around us. We end up watching while our husbands choose their own way and watch as they run from and try to hide from God; and, we watch as our marriages fall apart and the bottom falls out in front of our eyes.
There is another option
We can choose to obey God, trust Him, and follow His leading. We can come to a place where we accept that God is much wiser than we are and that His ways are not meant to hurt us but to help us and protect us. That our Heavenly Father has our best interest in mind and He cares deeply about us.
Simple. But not easy.